Shinobis Gone Wild!
by K0o-Chan
Summary: Naruto is going out with Sasuke, Shikamaru and Kiba have feelings for each other, Iruka and Kakshi have been playing during classes, Shino is becoming a rapper, and Ino is going out with Sakura! What else could possibly happen in this fiction!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one

Disclaimer: We do not own Naruto... If we did all of the little Naruto boys would be rolling in chocolate…

Yummy.

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It was a happy day. The pansies were singing and the birds were dancing along.

What another happy gay day.

"And that my children is how you insert a bug into your butt... Shino." Said Iruka with a happy-go-lucky laugh, as if he had no care that he had helped Kakashi with Sex Ed class.

Of course the older man had been staring at poor Iruka's butt the whole time.

Shino let out a scream of happiness "How great!" He cried while jumping up in his seat with a bounce.

The class clapped at Iruka's wonderful explanation of bug butt sex with humans. Irkua was happy that the class went well and allowed himself to be dragged into a nearby closet by Kakashi.

"What do you think they are going to do?" Asked Kiba, who was ripping a piece of paper little by little and nibbling on the pieces he ripped.

"Most likely something suggestive." Whispered Shikamaru to himself, but of course was overheard by half of the class, which made everyone laugh loudly.

It was then that a young women with long brown hair and dark eyes walking in the room, Expecting gasps because of her beauty. Too bad basically the whole class was homosexual. The only gasp she got was from the two little lesbians in the corner, Sakura and Ino.

"O-Okay. Good morning class. My name is Sango and I'll be teaching the rest of your class. I might have to leave early because my husband's water might break." The female said happily.

"Really! Girl or boy?" Asked the cockroach on the ceiling above the class.

"We think it is a boy." Replied Sango with a wink "But you never know what magic will happen!"

"Ya, Like the kind of magic it takes to get a man pregnant." Hissed Lee with a smug look on his face.

"Well, You see, I decided that I would quite that damn show 'Inuyasha' and move to this village with my husband Miroku."

Naruto let out a sudden loud snort "Sasuke, Don't touch!" He giggled while the boy beside him began poking random parts of the blonde's body.

Ino started doing the same thing to the horny Sakura.

Sango gave the couples an odd look before turning to the black board behind her.

"Did you know that there are no black people in this village." Let out Shino while taking off his sun glasses, eyes closed "Unless you count the times when I imagine stuff."

"What the hell." Naruto murmured behind Shino's back, only to have a large piece of cockroach shit fall on his shoulder.

It was now that the class noticed the loud moans coming from the closet. Shortly after this the class left the room awkwardly.

But the class was soon blocked by a large Buddha in front of the main doors.

"Get the fuck out the way random Buddha" yelled Naruto "Me and Sasuke are going down to the porn store that also sells chocolate!"

"I'm sorry for being in your way little boy" said random Buddha and disappeared.

So now Naruto and Sasuke were free to skip to the porn and chocolate store. The two young shinobi were very excited 'Star Wars episode 54: attack of the dick' came out today.

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They arrived at the porn and chocolate store and were happy to that nobody else was there.  
Well with the exception of the really, really pregnant man behind the counter.

Sasuke went over to get a copy of the movie while Naruto started a conversation with pregnant man. "Hey you must be Sango's husband!" exclaimed the happy little fox.

"Yes I am my name is Miroku and through the magic of pregnancy I am carrying our child." He replied with little dancing hearts in his eyes. Yes those stars danced they danced so happily and so magically that they could make ones soul explode with happiness. The dancing stars were interrupted when Sasuke came back with the movie and some Hershey's chocolate syrup. (Note: Hershey's is now the unofficial sponsor of gay anime chocolate usage)

"I found the last copy of the movie" he said excitedly" It was hidden behind some old Pamela Anderson stuff." All of a sudden Miroku gasped in pain. "Hey are you okay Miroku?" asked Naruto.

"I think my water just broke" grunted Miroku.

"Oh shit" muttered Sasuke.

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K0o-Chan- And that is where we leave you. I know you all will follow along! Because we have some 'Chips A Ho' For you.

kamakazikoala- That's right and if you don't I will devour you soul.

K0o-Chan- She speaks evil. Oh, As you can tell by now I did not write this on my own! Give meh buddy some..A LOT of credit too! She was the one who came up with our 'InuYasha' characters joining to goup of ninjas! Yay!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Disclaimer: We do not own any characters from 'Naruto' or 'Inuyasha' And we don't own anything from 'Batman'

Too bad so sad.

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"Quickly Naruto get Miroku to the 'Bat mobile'!" yelled Sasuke.

"Yes sir!" replied Naruto and then tossed the pregnant monk in the back of the car. "Hey Sasuke can you drive?" asked Naruto

"No" replied Sasuke "But I think that in one of the many Batman shows that the 'Bat mobile' was able to fly."

"Oh okay" said Naruto believing anything that his boyfriend told him.

Sauke took a few moments studying the millions of buttons in the car.

"Quick Sasuke we have to get Miroku to kamakazikoala's hospital for pregnant men!" screamed Naruto.

"Damn it Naruto you're two feet away from me you don't have to be so loud." Sasuke felt a few drops of blood drip from his ears "Crap my eardrums ruptured." Sasuke would have given up but Miroku's groans of pain gave him motivation. "Damn you Bruce Wayne and your love for buttons." He mumbled while hitting a random blinking red button. With a dramatic flash of blue light the three men and the 'Bat mobile' were transported to kamakazikoala's hospital for pregnant men.

"Wow Sauke Jesus Kakashi and the Virgin Iruka are on your side." Chirped Naruto. Sasuke shot Naruto an odd look.

"You just so happened to hit the 'transport this car to kamakazikoala's hospital for pregnant men' button." Naruto said as if it was painfully obvious.

"Why the fuck would 'Batman' have a button like that in the 'Bat mobile'?" asked Sasuke. Naruto would have answered but Miroku spoke "Stop talking about the God damn button and get me in the fucking hospital!" he screamed.

"Yes sir." squeaked Sasuke and Naruto in unison.

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"Oh dear, Kakashi. You made the school supplies all messy." Iruka whined as he jumped out of the closet, only to fall like a drunken man on the floor.

Kakashi looked back into the closet as he then tripped over Iruka's limp body "Oh, Iruka! Did I fuck you so hard it hurt!" The older man giggled as he helped Iruka to his feet.

"Well, I guess you could say that." The brunette replied with a sigh "Next time you'll have to be gentler."

Kakashi nodded and then looked around the room blankly "Where did all the kids go?" He asked the empty room.

Iruka let out a shrill scream "You made me skip my class!" He yelled while placing both of his hands at the side of his head "You made me miss my damn class!"

"Ohh, I'm sorry Mr. Moan-a-lot. But I couldn't just keep staring at your cute little butt all class!"

Iruka blushed at Kakashi's comment and then looked away.

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Shino looked at the bug that was suddenly crawling on his arm. The boy was sitting under a tree with Shikamaru and Kiba, while munching on some 'Chips a' Ho'.

It seemed that his two friends couldn't stop looking at each other.

"So, Shino. You going out with anyone?" Kiba peeped while scooting closer to the shy Shikamaru.

"Yep. She-Hulk the cockroach." He smiled under his white jacket and peered over his dark sun glasses, which seemed to hide two black eyes.

Kiba let out a snort of laughter and rolled on his back while tears streamed down his face "Cockroach!"

It was then that Shikamaru shivered and jumped on the rolling boy "COME HERE BITCH!" He yelled while throwing off his shirt.

Shino looked at his friends oddly then laughed "Screw you." He mumbled "NOBODY APPRECIATES OUR LOVE! I'M GOING TO GO BE THE 'NINJA 50 CENT'!" Shino bellowed in rage.

Kiba and Shikamaru stopped stripping each other and stared at their race confused friend. "I hate to tell you this Shino, but you're not black." said Kiba sadly.

"But don't worry we're behind you 100 percent. Hahaha" Shikamaru laughed at his first attempt at a joke.

"Shut up bitch." said Kiba while slapping him.

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kamakazikoala- That's right I have a hospital for pregnant men but it is hidden some where.

K0o-Chan- Heh, I'm really sorry if any of the crap we put in this story offends any one. But like the summery said: CARCK! And I work at that bunny village with Haku and Zubaza!

kamakazikoala- Yes, I am truly sorry if you are offeneded but alas we are but misguided West Virginian youth.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Disclaimer: Damn it... We don't own 'Naruto', 'Inuyahsa' Or 'Bat Man'

Happy?

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Naruto smiled when he saw Sango, Miroku, and their daughter together. He then turned to Sasuke "Sasuke do you think that we could ever have a child?" asked the little fox. "Hell no!" replied Sasuke. After helping kamakazikoala with Miroku's emergency c-section he didn't want to go through any of that fucked up shit ever again. "Please." Naruto pleaded with sparkly little blue fox eyes. Unable to resist Sasuke gave in to the eyes. "Fine but only if we adopt." He said flatly.

Naruto jumped up and down "OMG!" He squealed happily as he planted a kiss on Sasuke's cheek.

It was then that a young man walking into the room, holding a small white bunny "A free bunny for your child birth." The man said all cute like.

"H-HAKU?" Screamed Naruto and Sasuke together with wide eyes "We killed you in episode seventeen or eighteen!"

Haku giggled "I'm the little sprite that hunts this happy little hospital. And guess who else is here? My rapist Zaubaza! "

"Oh, That is just great." growled Sasuke.

"Hey what's with the basket full of little white bunnies?" asked Naruto with glittering eyes.

"Oh, the bunnies. They are just so cute! So babies need bunnies!" Replied Haku all happy like.

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After a good nights rest Shino '50 cent' Aburame and She-Hulk the man cockroach were ready for a day full of random rapping. " Okay '50 cent' you gotta sow your shit ghetto style, you dig?" asked She-Hulk. "Yeah I'm ready. I'll show those player hating crackers that I can actually do something original." Replied '50 cent'.

"All right your first lesson in gangster ethics is how to bust a cap up in someone's ass." Said the man roach.

"Okay, I'm ready baby!"

"Okay, Second lesson is… You don't say 'baby' unless referring to a chick." The roach laughed "Alright, I want to hear sooma dat rappen!"

"Okay!"

'_I'm gonna rape yo chickan and shove dat crap up jo ass!_

_And we be like hell ya! Like some type of weird ass drug! We be like we be pimps up in da house! WOOW WOOW!_

_Like we be rappas up in herr! _

_Me friends are like therr and thay say 'You an't black' and I be all like yaaaa! So what if I ain't balck! I'm black inside. _

_Now me dog pimp is like playen that rappa game and he be like HELLS YA BITCHES1'_

The roach man just looked at Shino blankly.

"Okay, First of: That was crap. Second, Your friends are right. You aren't black." The roach man finally said with a loud cough at the end.

" Oh so that shit wasn't ghetto enough for you!" said Shino starting to cry.

"Aww don't be like that bitch." Said roach man "Come on have a hug"

Shino shuffled over to roach man and hugged him. "That's right who's my little gangster." Cooed roach man

" I am." Said Shino his confidence returning.

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Gaara looked over to his castle with a blank look "No, I'm the king. You're the queen." He argued with the boy sitting across from him in the sand box.

"Why, I'm not a girl." Lee cried with a small frown. "I don't want to be queen of the castle."

"I'd let you be king, Lee, but I am more manly than you." Said Gaara with a smirk.

Lee gave a small nod a sigh, it was true. Gaara always got the top.

"Fine, I'm the queen." He let out.

Gaara let out a fan girl type giggle "So cute, My little bitch." The red head began smoothing the castle.

"Hey, Is it just me or dose this castle look like my penis." Lee blushed.

"It is just you, Because I wanted the castle to look like mine." Gaara replied with a big grin.

Lee looked at the castle blankly.

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Kakashi and Iruka were on their way to the porn and chocolate store. They were holding hands singing and skipping down the road. Thus disturbing the already homophobic village even more. The two were on their way to pick up a copy of 'Star Wars Episode 54: Attack of the Dick'. Upon arriving at the store the ninjas found it empty and unprotected.

Kakashi let out a shrill giggle "Perfect! Now we have to store all to ourselves!" The older man giggled while letting go of Iruka's hand and skipping off to pull out a book from the shelf.

"Come on Kakashi, I don't think we should." Iruka peeped while walking over to the silver haired man and slipping the book out of his grasp.

"Aww, Iruka you are such a goody two shoes! Come on, Just a little peek. Not much could hurt." Kakashi smiled with puppy dog eyes.

Iruka looked away with a loud sigh "Alright. But I get a peek too!" He coughed.

Kakashi giggled while slipping the book from Iruka and opening it to the first page.

"OH MY GOD!" Both men cried as Kakashi dropped the book.

"That is something we haven't done yet."

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Kiaba and Shikamaru had a great night. They had run out to the unprotected porn and chocolate store and took all of the chocolate that they could.

Both boys had ran away to Kiba's house to melt the chocolate and roll in it like the cute little boys that they were.

"Awwie, Look at my cute little piggy." Shikamaru smirked while poking Kiba on the face with a chocolate covered finger.

Kiba let out a happy little piglet snort and licked the chocolate finger in his face.

"And how is my little deer?" The dog boy laughed.

All of a sudden Shikamaru sat up in the chocolate with a blush "I'm not a deer." He replied with a frown as he folded his arms across his bare chocolate covered chest.

Kiba laughed "Aww, Then what are you?"

"A buck."

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K0o-Chan- It is 4:30 a.m, And the morning is young..DAMN IT!

kamakazikoala- That's right and it's just about time for my 4:34 episode of randomness.

K0o-Chan- God Bless you.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Disclaimer: We don't own any of the damn anime in the fan fiction.

But we do own you.

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After standing in Miroku's hospital room for over a day Naruto realized that the happy parents hadn't named their child yet. " Hey Miroku." called Naruto " What are you going to name your daughter ?"

" Well I was thinking of calling her Lil' Slugger ." replied Miroku with a stupid smile.

" What the hell kind of name is Lil' Slugger!" roared an outraged Sango.

" It's the name of one hell of a future baseball player." Said Miroku.

" Do we even have baseball in this world?" asked a confused Sasuke.

" I don't think so. We don't have time for sports. All we ever do is bleed and angst." Naruto said smartly.

"Well I still think it's a good name." said Miruko "And I will invent the sport of baseball one day, even though I have no clue what the hell it is."

"Well I'm glad the baby has a name now." Said Haku appearing with a basket of milk chocolate bunnies.

Naruto looked over at Haku with a big smile "Hey, Those bunnies are turning me on." He whispered while eyeing Sasuke "How about you guys?"

"Sadly I'm not gay." Miroku sniffed.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'SADLY'?" Sango yelled while hitting the man in the white bed.

Which made Lil' Slugger cry.

"Wait..How dose a man breast feed a damn baby?" Miroku asked while lifting up his shirt to look at his nipples.

Naruto grabbed Lil' Slugger from Miroku and gabbed the baby to his chest as he lifted up his shirt "SUCK! SUCK!" He cried as the baby kept crying.

Sango screamed and took the baby from the horny blond "No, No! I'll try!" And she went off into a corner to feed the baby.

Sasuke and Haku looked at Naruto "What the hell was that?" Sasuke asked with a hiss.

"I was trying to feed the baby… With pleasure." Replied the blond.

"We are going home."

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Back at '50 cent's' house he and man roach had successfully busted a cap into 76 pedestrians asses. "Young jedi you r training is going well." Said man roach in Yoda like voice.

"What the fuck" said a confused Shino "I'm a gangster not some pansy jedi!"

The roach man looked at Shino sadly "I only wanted to make my lil gangsta happy." The roach sniffed.

Shino ran over to the roach but accidentally tripped and fell onto his lover…

"Oh shit. Roach man?"

Silence.

"OH SHIT!" Shino stood up and looked on his white shirt, which now had the limbs of his previous lover.

"OH GOD NO!'

Sniffing sadly Shino pulled doo rag out of pocket. But this no ordinary doo rag this was a special angsting doo rag.

"This calls for a rap of hate and angst."

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Naruot and Sasuke steeped out of the 'Bat mobile' and walked into their happy little house. The house was bright blue and sang with the birds and flowers every morning. "Hey you two" said Mr. House.

"Hi Mr. House." Said the boys. They then went inside and got ready to watch their 'Star Wars' gay porn.

Out of curiosity Naruto decided to see what the movie was rated.

It was rated 'adult's only' for the following: use of drugs. Sex, extreme violence, extreme gore, language, content that isn't good, and suggestive 'light saber' themes. WARNING: keep away from small children. If you know that a child has seen this bring them to therapy immediately. Also if ingested call a poison help hotline. And remember 'may the force be with you'.

"Well, That is just funky." Naruto sneered as he pointed to the warning to Sasuke. Who just giggled "That is great."

"I know. 'May the force be with you' Sasuke!"

Sasuke got a perverted look on his face "What force?"

"Shut-up. No look who is a horny bitch?"

" Damn it lets just watch the movie." Mumbled Mr. House.

After two hours of happiness Naruto, Sasuke, and Mr. House were left with some favorite scenes like:

" Yoda what are you doing with that light saber!",

"I didn't know Jar-Jar Binks and Chewbacca!", and their favorite,

"Luke get in my pants."

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kamakazikoala- That was the funniest and most offensive chapter yet, It will get worse.

K0o-Chan- Yep, Cause Luke will get in YOUR pants... muffiens and sheep.

NOTE: It is 6:00 am..

No sleep yet!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Disclaimer:** We DO NOT OWN nagefwhnkjhfejhfksh

Or Naruto.

Bitch.  
Oh, And we don't own Master Chang. . . But we are his girlfriends. Really.

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"I love my new penis."

"Yes . . . It is great."

"Fuck you, Neji the Nazi."

"No, Piñata Hinata the SHEMAN!"

"DING DING DING DING DING"

"Who the hell are you!"

"I'm Masta Chang!"

"THE GREATEST TAI-KWON-DO MASTER?"

"DING DING DING DING!"

"Golly gee it's an honor to meet you."

Neji looked over to the Korean Tai-Kwon-Do master from West Virginia; the young ninja had stars in his eyes from meeting his idol.

Hinata just went into a corner to masturbate with her new penis.

"I've always wanted to be just like you tell me about your youth."

"Well I grew up in South Korea and I was a Korean Gangster. One time we were going to fight with fifty people. But you no have one person on one side and three on the other. That be no fight. But we had fifty people here and fifty people there so we had fight. But I got stabbed in the shoulder and I go to the hospital. Then I stop being a gangster and join the army. I was going to go to war but became a Tai-Kwon-Do instructor. The End."

By the end of the story Neji had broken down crying.

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"Meow."

"MEOW"

"Naruto, you are not a cat! You are a damn fox!"

"No! I wanna make a noise!"

"Then go: Yip!"

"Yip!'

"MEEEOOOWWW!"

Naruto and Sasuke were both dressed up as animals. Naruto was a fox and Sasuke was a cat. Why? We all don't know why. Maybe it was another one of their random fetishes. Most likely.

Naruto bit at Sasuke's cat ear playfully, Sasuke screamed in pain as he beat his head on the floor.

"AGGGGAAAGAGAGA!" He screamed holding at the fake cat ear as if it were real. . . The scary thing was. . . That it was really bleeding.

Naruto then began to scream and point at the puddle of blood that Sasuke was rolling in.

Mr. House just laughed and made a comment about how silly those gay boys were.

Not being able to think of anything better to do, Naruto decided to rush Sasuke to the hospital. So he threw Sasuke in the Bat Mobile and drove off to kamakazikoala's hospital for pregnant men. "Naruto I'm not pregnant I won't be allowed in." wined Sasuke between screams. "Like hell they will!" growled Naruto. Sasuke just gave Naruto a blank look and passed out.

When he came to he was in a bed and he felt something sitting on him. He opened his eyes expecting to see Naruto but saw a cute little bunny instead.

"Welcome to Kamakazikoala's hospital for pregnant men, please hold on a minute while we wait for Doctor Zabuza." Said a happy-go-lucky Haku. In the background elevator music was playing.

"Hum. WTF? NARUTO?"

Naruto smiled over to his boyfriend at the side of the hospital bed he way lying in. The bunny was hopping up and down on Sasuke's balls.

Naruto got jealous so he picked up the bunny and threw it against the wall.

"FUCK YOU GAY BUNNY!"

"NARUTO! DON'T BE MEAN TO MR. NIBBLES!"

"Who?"

"Mr. Nibbles."

Haku clapped his hands happily and started to dance and twirl.

"MR. NIBBLES!" Haku chanted happily.

"Hello, I'm doctor Zabuza." Said a man walking into the room, he had a long coat that was covered in blood and he had no eyebrows. . WTF?

"What is your problem?" He asked stupidly as he looked over to Sasuke, who was eyeing the missing eyebrows with a twitch of his eye.

"N-Nothing is our problem." Sasuke muttered looking over to Naruto with a glare.

Naruto grinned stupidly and shrugged "Could you tell us if Sasuke's pregnant?"

"Sure."

"Hey, Guess what?" Haku yelled with a wave of both his arms "Mr. Nibbles is a girl!"

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Authors note:

'Ding Ding Ding Ding!' is what Master Chang says it means 'Correct' or 'Good job'.

Another note:

Master Chang is a REAL person. I swear to god he is. And yes, He was a real Korean gangster.

Master Chang is our Tai-Kwon-Do teacher . . . We both love him so much. . . I know we both are having an affair with him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Declaimer: We do NOT; I repeat DO NOT own Naruto, If we did . . . We

Wouldn't be the losers we are now.

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"Uhh. . . Kakashi? I have some. . . News."

"What is it, Iruka?"

"Well . . . I took a pregnancy test. . ."

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU TAKE A PREGANCY TEST? YOU'RE A MAN!"  
" Well, I didn't have my period for a while so. . . I took a test."

"Period? Oh, Great."

"Well it came up positive. You're going to be a daddy!"

"And what would that make you?"

"The mom of course."

Kakashi stared at his boyfriend dumbstruck, As if he were all of a sudden hit by lightning. Well, It wouldn't be so bad, Right? At least Iruka wasn't the only pregnant man in the village. Gay men were popular!

"Well, have you seen the doctor?"

"Not yet, I have to call and make an appointment."

". . . Maybe I should take a pregnancy test too. ."

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Gaara was crying as Lee pulled him by the hand past the elephant exhibit. Gaara had been taken out of his sand box just to see animals mate, kill each other, eat, and act like ass holes. This was a bunch of bull shit.

Lee looked back to the crying red head with a roll of his eyes "You have got to come out of that sandbox some times."

"_I'm sorry mamma, I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to make you cry but I'm cleaning out my sandbox."_

Shino rapped in the bear cage, bobbing his head up and down as if doing some sort of tribal dance. Everyone came to look and point at the boy with hard core rapping skillz.

The bears really didn't give a fuck so they started to attack Shino.

Lee pulled the crying Gaara over to see why the crowed was making such a fuss. As soon as Gaara saw what was happening he pointed and laughed. Lee screamed.

Gaara gave Lee a weird look but he soon let out a gasp.

"THE TESTICAL OCTOPUSE!"

The people all screamed and ran away while Lee began to hump the octopus happily.

Gaara got mad and killed the octopus and then Lee was sad.

THE END!

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"Well, that was fucking retarded." Naruto hissed as he looked away from the TV screen in the hospital. Shino threw a tick at the blonde's head. Gaara farted. Lee started going off about how much work he had put into the movie and that he shouldn't have bothered to come visit Sasuke in the hospital.

Sasuke was still staring at the TV screen.

Haku was busy giggling and bouncing around the room like a bunny, Then Shino threw a tick at him too which knocked the ass hole out like a dead deer.

"Chocolate fight!" Cried Lee gaily as he pulled out a Willy Wonka chocolate bar from out of his pocket and threw it at Gaara who had been picking at his nose.

Sasuke's cat ears began to spurt blood and he passed out.

THE END!

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Mr. House smiled. What a funny TV show. What a funny world they live in.

THE END!

(For real.)

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Kamakazikoala-I only wrote two sentences.

Ko-Toni – DAMN STRAIGHT! I worked my ass off you nigga!  
Throws a porn book in Koala's face and dances around her body. . .Cause she fell. . .down.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Disclaimer: We do not own ANYTHING THAT WE DO NOT OWN IN THIS FAN FICTION!  
Except the ideas!

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"Sasuke I have bad news!"

"What is it Dr. Zabuza?"

"Well after running many, many tests I figured out that those cat ears have fused themselves to your skull."

"NOOO!"

"You mean Sasuke gets to be a cat forever?" asked Naruto with much hope that his lover could be a little kitty kat.

"Yes he does." Replied Dr. Zabuza with a small nod of his head

"Sasuke, I've got good news though!" Added the doctor "I just saved fifteen percent on my car insurance with the gecko!"

"Fuck you."

Sasuke's head dropped, he looked at his hands sadly as Naruto left to room happily. . . He was a cat. A fucking four legged animal that goes 'meow' all the time.

The doctor and his nurse Haku left the room to do other business while they let the angst filled Sasuke sulk in his hospital bed.

"You think you have it bad." Came a voice from the other side of the room.

Sasuke looked up bewildered as he searched for where the voice came from.

"Over here dumb ass."

"Oh."

On the other side of the room there was a man. . The man had long black hair and glasses. . Then it hit Sasuke!

"OMG, you are Jin from 'Samurai Champloo'!" Sasuke gasped as he pointed to the older man in shock.

"Yes."

"What happened to you?"

"I can't run."

"Why is that?"

"Every time I run I fall on my face and turn crippled."

". . . Why?"

"BECAUSE I'M COOL!"

"Oh, I can live with that explanation."

"Yes now be quiet or you'll wake up Timothy."

"Who?"

"Timothy." Jin repeated as he picked up a stuffed blue octopus beside him.

"He gets grumpy if he doesn't take his nap."

". . ."

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"TWENTY NINE BOTTLES OF URINE ON THE WALL!"

"Shut-up Shikamaru! Pee and poop jokes are so yesterday."

"Fine be that way, Bitch."

"Oh, no you didn't?"

"Oh, yes I did."

Kiba looked at the ground in defeat, Shikamaru had actually had beaten him in an argument.

Wait, Kiba had an idea!

"YOUR MAMMA IS SO FA-"

"Yo, that ain't cool." Came a voice from the other side of Kiba. It was the cool rappa Shino!

"W- What can I say then, the ninja fifty cent?"

"Tell him that he ain't gonna get fucked tonight."

"YA!"

Kiba turned back over to Shikamaru and pointed a finger "I'M NOT GONNA FUCK YOU TONIGHT!"

Shikamaru fell back as if those words had hit him hard. . But they only hit him lightly.

Shino nodded in approval and poofed out of the room to go to a random rap battle.

---------------------------------

"Uhh. . . Iruka."

"Humm?"

"I-I took a pregnancy test too. . . "

"Oh fuck."

"Ya . . . I'm gonna have a baby too . . . Which brings me to an important question: HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET INSIDE ME?"

"Hahaha, about that. . ."

"Yes, please do tell."

"I raped you when you were sleeping."

". . . . YOU ARE THE UKE!"

"I KNOW! I'M SORRY BUT YOU ALWAYS GET THE FUN WHILE I'M CRYING MY HEART OUT BECAUSE YOU HAVE A BIG PENIS!"

"Fine. . . We are equal."

"Should we start thinking about the babies?'

"No they can take care of themselves, just like I had to."

"You had to take care of yourself when you were in your mother's belly?"

"Yep, I had to fight wolves and everything."

"I'm sorry but that's bullshit."

"But it's true."

". . . .There are no wolves in my belly."

"I bet there are bears."

". . . Kakashi, shut-up."

-----------------------------------

"Hinata leave me the hell alone."

"No I love you Neji!"

"But I hate you and your new penis so get the hell away from me. I like boobies!"

"I still have mine."

"NO YOU DON'T! I DON'T LIKE YOUR BOOBIES!"

"What is wrong with my penis?"

"It disturbs me. . . It moves . . . Urge."

"Well I'm sure we can think of some way to be together."

"NO I HATE YOU! CRAWL IN A DAMN HOLE AND DIE DEVIL CHILD!" Neji proceeded to flick holy water at Hinata.

"IT BURNS!" cried Hinata as her flesh was burning off.

------------------------------------

Ko-Toni- Next chapter it is gonna be Halloween! I know we are late but who gives a damn! We went to a damn party on Halloween and took fangirl pictures!

Kamakazikoala-That's right!


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Declaimer: Do we really need to tell you this again?

HAPPY LATE HALLOWEEN!

------------------------------------

Sasuke was sulking in his hospital bed.

"Can't you think of a better costume than a cat?"

"…No I can't, I just can't do it Naruto."

"Why not! Jin is being creative he's going as an octopus."

"Timothy and I are gonna get more candy than anyone." Came Jin's voice from across the room.

"But you're going as a fox Naruto, that isn't creative at all."

"GRRRRR! I don't care anymore Sasuke. I'm going to be cuter than you!" Naruto then rushed out of the room in tears.

"You just got told." Jin smirked.

"Shut the hell up you fucking octopus."

"Hey, you hurt Timothy's feeling."

". . . . I'm starting to think you aren't cool any more."

"SHUT-UP I'M EMO!" He burst into tears as he threw his blue octopus at Sasuke's cat ears . . . Which made Sasuke pass out.

--------------------------

"Trick-or-Treat!" Came many voices in unison as a door opened and a women began to giggle about how cute the little 'children' were as she passed out candy to them all, giving an extra to the cute blue octopus.

"I told you guys that I'd get more candy than you."

"Aren't you a bit to old for trick-or-treating?" asked a little kid dressed as a samurai.

Jin felt fire burning in his eyes "AHHH GOD MY EYES ARE ON FIRE SOMEONE GET ME SOME WATER!" After Jin put out the fire in his eyes he chased after the little samurai around the villege and pulled out his sword. "DIE YOU LITTLE POSER!"

The child screamed in terror and tried to escape but was tripped by Timothy then decapitated by Jin. "We sure are a good team aren't we?" Jin then asked his plush friend.

"Yo that's one crazy motha fucka." Shino the cockroach said as he looked over to his group of friends and pointed over at Jin with an eyebrow raised.

The rainbow caterpillar Lee simply shrugged his shoulders "Maybe the candy is getting to his head?"

The cat Sasuke was ignoring the groups conversation now that he didn't think Jin was cool anymore he wouldn't protect his idol. . . WAIT? Didn't Jin just run after that child? RUN?

Sasuke felt his face grow hot with anger as he turned around to face Jin, eye twitching madly "JIN I THOUGH YOU COULDN'T RUN?" He yelled at the older man as he stomped forward and pointed a paw at him.

Jin the octopus shrugged and kissed Timothy "I need motivation to run. That is only why a samurai runs, because we have motivation."

". . . .I'll never understand you."

"Well I'm still better than you."

Naruto was eating his candy as the group walked along the dark village. The village was very bright we Halloween lights, though, as small trick-or-treaters ran from house to house screaming at each other and throwing candy . . . Retarded children.

Gaara the bucket of sand was happily throwing his own candy at the ugly children that didn't have anyone to trick-or-treat with; their pitiful existence made Gaara laugh and point.

Neji the priest was busy flicking holy water at all the gay people . . . which was almost the whole village as the devil Hinata was trying to find his beloved cousin.

Neji ran over to Naruto and the other "You guys have to help me. I've seen hell."

"Holy Shit what did it look like?"

"Well Kiba, it isn't pretty, it's Hinata."

"NOOOOOO!" the entire group collectively screamed.

"Calm down my children. I f you follow me God will help you find salvation. Even is you're all gay." He glanced at Jin "Or in his case fucking crazy."

Shikamaru the BUCK head butt Kiba and started to giggle like crazy as he ran around in a circle.

"OH MY GOD! SOMEBODY HELP! HE GOT CANDY POSINED!" Kiba screamed and pointed at his lover while jumping up and down.

Shino screamed and started saying some random wigger words and he look bewildered at the crazy buck.

Sasuke's eyes widened in terror and he mindlessly pointed across the street. "What's the matter Sasuke?" Naruto asked while tugging on Sasuke's tail. "M-MY b-brother and his boyfriend." Sasuke stammered.

The group of children and Jin looked in the direction of Sasuke's pointing finger. And there in the glow of a street light were two people. One dressed as weasel and the other dressed as a shark (Even though he was already one.).

"Oh fuck."

"Did my little brother just cuss?"

"NO!"

"Yes. I heard."

Itachi ran up to his younger brother and hugged him as hard as he could, cooing over the little cat boy as he stroked his head happily. Naruto cursed under his breath, not wanting his boyfriend to be touched by a freaking weasel.

"GET YOUR LITTLE PAWS OFF HIM!" Yelled Naruto as he threw a box of nerds at the oldest Uchiha.

Itachi growled and clung onto Sasuke even more "No, I don't want to and   
I don't have to if I don't want to!"

Sasuke was just standing there numbly, he was in the middle of a flashback.

"_Brother I don't think you should do that." said a five year old Sasuke. "No it's perfectly okay to do this." Smiled Itachi evilly as he continued to molest his little brother. "Well if you say so….."_

Sasuke snapped back to reality and started to scream "NOO DON'T TOUCH ME BROTHER IT ISN'T NORMAL FOR YOU TO DO THAT!"

Sasuke then fell over and started to spasm on the ground. Naruto looked at the cat boy and poked him with a stick. "I'LL KILL YOU BASTARD YOU BROKE SASUKE!"

Kisame calmly walked over and assessed the situation. He screamed a grabbed Itachi. "I WON'T LET ANYONE HURT MY LITTLE WEASEL!" He cried and ran off.

"Ha, I still got more candy than anyone else." Said Jin stupidly.

----------------------------

Ko-Toni – HELLZ YA! Like that chapter don't you?  
Koala typed most of it this time. . .Hahaha we are even!

Kamakazikoala-um yeah

Ko-Toni- Silly little emo.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Disclaimer: And yet, We still repeat ourselves with this shit.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

---------------------------------

Iuka was browsing around the Turkey aisle, he would pick up a Turkey and study it. . .It seemed none of the Turkeys were good enough for him though.

Kakashi rubbed his belly "Yummy Turkey." He smiled while licking his lips.

"Stop that." Iruka snapped as he picked up another Turkey, this time he threw the Turkey at his lover's belly "FEED YOUR WOVLES!"

"I bet you anything my kid will be born with wolf ears."

"Kakashi I know that you weren't taught much about children, but you can't have a baby with animal ears."

"Yes I can , and my baby will be more popular than yours."

"Well I'm going to have a normal baby girl."

"Well I'm going to have a model son."

"Fine!"

"Yeah fine!"

And thus the War of The Babies began.

----------------------------------------

Naruto let out a small sigh as he watched Jin throw Timothy up and down while giggling. It was a sad sight. Jin was a grown man and Naruto was stuck babysitting him. The blonde fox felt a small nibble at his toe, he looked down to see a bunny. Mr. Nibbles.

Naruto let out another sigh, he picked up the bunny and threw it at Jin. The bunny hit the samurai in the head as it let out a small scream.

"Naruto, Why? Why did you have to throw me?" The bunny asked with big eyes as he looked over to the ninja.

"Because you are a bitch."

Jin looked over to Naruto "So are you."

"Shut-up, emo."

"I never knew my parent!" Jin began to cry

"What the hell do you mean?"

"I. sob…never…sniff…knew my…sob…FATHER!"

" There , there it's ok." Mumbled Naruto as he patted Jin on the shoulder. "What about your mom?"

"My mom was a…man."

"Oh. Well that explains some things." Just then an idea hit Naruto. Jin was an orphan. Naruto wanted a child. Sasuke said that they could only adopt.

---------------------------------

Neji walked out of the church with a smile on his face. He had just become a priest. It was now up to him to rid the world of al things evil: George W. Bush, gay people, and of coarse Hinata.

He grabbed a cross, a bible, and some holy water and set off to do the work of God.

It was then that Shino walked up beside him, looking at the bible and holy water stupidly "Dude, What the hellz is that for?" He asked with an eyebrow raised.

"I'm working for god!" Replied Neji happily as he looked down at the book "Great isn't it?"

"Sure. . . .You know that chick?" Shino pointed over to Hinata who was masturbating in public again.

Neji broke down in tears and ran away.

"Word."

----------------------------

"Happy Thanksgiving everyone!" Cheered Iruka happily as he clapped his hands together and looked around at all his guests. Half of the people he didn't know and the other half were his old students. . . And his boyfriend.

Naruto thrust up his cup full of cranberry juice in the air with a big grin "Cheers!" He shouted, the rest of the group shouted together in reply.

People began to help themselves to the food, because Iruka really did cook quit a feast.

The only problem about have the celebration was that . . . Iruka and Kakashi lived in an apartment . . . And there were a lot of damn people.

Naruto, Sasuke, Shino, Neji, Gaara. Lee, Kiba, Shikamaru, Hinata, Sakura, Ino, Kakashi, Jin, Itachi, Kisame, Haku, Zabuza, Lil' Slugger Miroku, and Sango.

People began to eat and talk amongst themselves, joking and laughing . . .And killing. Yes. It was a happy thanksgiving indeed.

Iruka then stood up and cleared his throat for attention "Excuse me everyone, I have an announcement."

Everyone stopped talking and looked over to Iruka stupidly.

"My baby is better then Kakashi's."

"OH NO YOU DIDN'T!"

Iruka smiled over to Kakashi's outburst "Yes I did."

Naruto stood up and clapped "You are having a baby! Congratulations!"

Everyone else joined the clapping and they all cheered. Iruka blushed, flattered.

Kakashi frown "I'm having a baby too!" He yelled standing up.

"YAY!" Everyone cheered.

Then all of a sudden Iruka jumped on Kakashi, beating his stomach with the rest of the turkey.

"How does your baby like that? HOW ARE THOSE WOLVES?" Iruka screamed at Kakashi.

Kakashi began beating the younger teacher back; he had pulled out a bat from his back pocket.

Neji pulled out his holy water and began flicking it on the two men "LET GOD BE WITH YOU!" He yelled.

"I don't mean to intrude but I don't think hitting the babies is a good idea." Said Miroku as he held his baby.

All of the guests tried to do something that would help so they just got up and left. Except for Naruto, Sasuke, and their newly adopted child Jin.

"What a bunch of retards." Jin muttered as he fed Timothy with a baby spoon.

-------------------------------

Ko-Toni- I love Jin.

Kamakazikoala- He's a little retard emo.


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